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I had a moment to myself this morning with my coffee, and reflected on all of this year.  It has been a very difficult year for all of us. This Thanksgiving was particularly hard on me as We always have family here sharing conversation and a meal and this year it was just us.  I missed the conversation, the hugs and most of all just sharing a good meal and conversation.  I am a person that can be alone but loves company and conversation.  I crave that "hello, how are you," when you can see someone's face, their smile, their kind eyes.  While I understand the reasons behind the wearing of the masks, I still have a very hard time with it.  I miss that interaction with people in general.

  I started writing, "morning pages,"  based on a book "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron, as a practice to help my creativity earlier this year.  All the negative news and what is happening in the world today had taken a toll on my creativity.  It worked and I wrote every morning with my coffee.  It was wonderful to be able to get stuff off my chest without stepping on anyones toes.  I stopped watching the news and focused on life everyday. Then in August I just stopped writing. Why I stopped I don't really know. It still haunts me and  it really took a toll on me spiritually, emotionally and creatively.  My physical health took a huge hit as well.  I am a person living with Multiple Sclerosis so keeping my emotional and spiritual health is so important. 

Looking back this year has taught me so much and for that I am grateful.   I will call it the Great Reset.  Learning just to live without outside influences.  Love you life because you are enough, you are important.  I am learning to let go of self doubt, comparisons, and the ever present negative thinking.  I do need other people,  Family, friends, and casual acquaintances but I Can do it by myself.  I am a self starter, have more common sense then most so I have to trust my judgement.  I am not going to let outside influences change the way I think, the way I should feel, and the way I should do things.  I have just but one life to live, and I am going to do it my way.  

I will move forward with the rest of 2020, looking forward to 2021 with enthusiasm, and loving my creative life.